This article deals with the emotional, mental, and spiritual effects that early low self-esteem experienced as a child can have on today’s adult- and holds out some good news.
Fortunately, there are many different avenues for getting your self-esteem back into balance. If after reading this if you have any questions or feel the need to talk to someone, I strongly suggest that you use some of the online support sites, such as free advice in a forum where you can be directed to a helpful book or ebook, seminar, program, or tape.
Here’s a tip: Just because someone coaching you may tell you that his or her advice or methodology is effective does not necessarily mean that it will be effective for you. Look for an effective strategy that works well for you. Make that your ultimate criteria!
Absolutes like “always” and “never” play a big role in developing a child’s self-esteem, and words like “worthless” interpret literally into “worthless” than others around the child. If you spent the early formative years of your life -birth to age 5-with these messages as part of your existence, chances are that you carried these messages into the rest of your childhood. You may find that hypnosis or a similar relaxation technique with a certified hypnotherapist or other qualified professional can help you on the road to restoring your natural confidence.
As a child’s self-esteem is originally determined by the extent that they believe that they are important to the adults who are supposed to love and take care of them, it is easy to see how self-esteem improvement and motivational courses have become increasingly popular as baby boomers grew up and began to search out the psychology of the links of their self-esteem to their imagined shortcomings and self-sabotage.
Feeling Better
Here’s the good news: Your natural internal “resting” state is that of someone who has a perfect balance of self-esteem already intact. This is not something you need to learn, it is much more accurate to say something you may need to remember.
Plan to exercise the internal “muscle” of remembering yourself when you’re perfectly balanced self-esteem. You may be able to do this by attending a workshop at your local YMCA and subscribing to a magazine or newsletter as additional steps to a formal counseling situation. If you have very deeply embedded esteem issues a daily quote from a website is not going to fix the problem, but it may give you the inspiration to get through the day and live easier. My recommendation is to look for an organization, and people who are aimed towards getting you back to how you are naturally, which is in balance rather than trying to fix something that’s broken.
Using a Helper Therapist
If you’re planning on seeing a therapist, I strongly encourage you to do 2 things first. While there may be a software product out there so you can do this online, you can always just get a notebook to use for journaling. Give yourself permission to be willing to do whatever it takes to change. The therapist knows that sometimes even though the client knows that they are unhappy they have a small notion that things could be different — otherwise, they wouldn’t be there, to begin with. He or she knows that there is some sort of payoff for us to remain stuck in the belief systems we have known for so long- after all, they’ve helped us cope to this point and should not be looked at as negative- but more as outdated and no longer useful. A professional can be very helpful in guiding the client towards a better outlook and quality of life.
Hopefully, this article has been a guide to get you thinking about how your emotional growth, personal growth, and spiritual growth and what you can do to get “back on track.”
